April 2, 2008

The San Marcos Death March

Ugh! I am so drained right now it's not even funny. April may truly prove to be the death of me before all is said and done. I have progressed well beyond "burnt out" and into currently unseen territory. There's just nothing in the tank right now. I can't even explain it.

People continue to ask me if I am getting excited about graduation, and I try to down play the whole thing, but I really am not excited at all. I can't wait for it to come, but I am so filled with dread that I find myself wondering sometimes if it will. Perfect example... my announcements arrived yesterday. After opening the box and checking them out you would think I would be excited/giddy/whatever, but I was not. The first thought that went through my head was "How bad would it suck to screw this up now?" That is how my mind is working right now. I just keep feeling like something is going to come along to keep me from graduating and ruin everything. I know it's crazy, but that is how my mind is working right now, and I am so drained that I'm not performing up to my best in my classes and that just feeds into it more.

Doom and gloom, doom and gloom! I know that a month (give or take a couple days) from now I'll look back and laugh at all this, but in the meantime I'm probably going to be pretty miserable to be around. It's weird, I'm not stressed or depressed or anything like that, I'm just spent. Maybe after graduation I'll pull a Bilbo and run away to the mountains to finish my book.

Good times...

1 comment:

The Yarbrough Family said...

Great! And I'm married to you!